Monthly Archives: April 2014

How to Control Your Hygienist’s Uterus

Posted on April 29, 2014 by

A gal walks into a dentist’s office. It’s the day of her child’s first-ever filling. This is a child who’s uncontrollably afraid of shots–so afraid she can’t even say the word shot. The child has tried, but before she can get … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, phobias | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

My New Favorite Website

Posted on April 25, 2014 by

Just a quick plug for my favorite new thing to do while killing time on the Web. Here’s a sample of my handiwork: Originally published 2009 JLF and the Momplex Blog.

Posted in general mockery, humor | Leave a comment

Talking until I’m Smurf Blue in the Face

Posted on April 21, 2014 by

I’ve watched a lot of Smurfs episodes over the last six or seven months — first, because I was pregnant, nauseated, and loathe to run around playing tag with my daughter, and now, because I’m constantly trying to come up … Continue reading →

Posted in babies, breastfeeding, daughters, marriage, mood issues, motherhood, preschoolers | Leave a comment

The Season’s Hottest New Accessory: My Kid!

Posted on April 9, 2014 by

At first, I thought that my new baby was kind of cramping my style. I’m literally talking style, because I gained 50 pounds this pregnancy. How does one dress herself when she’s no longer with child and is instead with all the Saltines and root … Continue reading →

Posted in babies, breastfeeding, general mockery, motherhood | 2 Comments

My Hot Date Night

Posted on April 2, 2014 by

From the Momplex archives, 2009: Today my husband and I begin “date nights,” honoring our commitment to set aside Wednesday nights for just each other. Of course, like any other night in our home, these nights will have to start … Continue reading →

Posted in babies, breastfeeding, marriage, motherhood, sexuality, sleep | 1 Comment